The Pain of Silence: Why It's Important to Speak Up and Get Heard

In life it is always wise to express oneself respectfully, especially to say and make clear what it is that you want. The pain of silence is literally the pain one undergoes when they are afraid of and do not say what they want or go after their dreams. If you want something, and I’d say someone, please make it crystal clear. Do not end up bottling up pain because you were afraid, for whatever reason, to express your desires and wants.

I don’t think it is fair to yourself or to others to be holding a grudge against someone, who you probably would have liked to date or be a special someone to, when you did not express your desire to be with them. It is so sad that sometimes people feel that they are not able to say they like someone and may end up in a situation where they are bitter or sad and show indifference to the person yet they had not made their wants known.

Life’s Too Short

Life is too short to sit by the wayside and watch someone you like get taken by someone else out of fear or shyness or whatever it is that could be holding you back. Go out there, talk to the person, let them know that they fascinate you, and regardless of whether they accept your advances or not, at least you will have peace knowing that you tried. I would personally rather undergo the pain of rejection than that of not knowing whether this person could have felt the same or given me the chance.

Life is too short to not know whether you can achieve something by way of not trying. Try. Go out there and give it your best shot. As the saying goes “shoot your shot.” You never know. Your crush may be feeling the same way about you. They may also be shy or afraid of how you will react. As such, it is upon you to break the ice, take the chance or take one for the team, and ask them out. If you fail to do so, then the both of you will be like fossils frozen in ice for all eternity.

Be Clear About What You Want

Every time you feel that you really want something in life, or someone, make your desires and intentions known. Tell them “hey, I like your style. I don’t know about you, but I would love to take you out for a coffee.” Simple. You could literally google a saucy pickup line and an interesting one I hope, and memorize it and go say hi to your crush. Otherwise, you will have a crush that has no idea about it and they will walk around feeling not special since you denied them the opportunity to feel special.

Every crush that I never said hi to is still a mystery to me today and it feels bad that I did not say a thing. Even though I wouldn’t say I outright regret not saying anything, I feel sad that I could not conjure up the courage to say hi. Just a simple hi. Do yourself and that person you are crushing on a favor and swallow the bitter pill and take the risk. Say hi. Tell them that every day you see them is a good day. Tell them that they have a killer smile. A smile so good it makes the sun blush. You know?

Go After What You Want

It is very important that you learn to express yourself clearly and also to go after what you want. Nothing in life is handed out to you. You have to go out there and make an effort. You have to strive to succeed and be tough enough to ride the wave. Life is a rodeo so strap up, get your boots on, bring your cowboy hat, and let’s face the raging bull that is life.

No one is handed matador status. You have to be out there in the arena risking it to get what you need and to become a star, a fighter, a Viking. Empires are not built by those who give in to fear. Great art is not conjured by those who fear their imagination. Greatness is sought and fought for. There is no shortcut to a good life or to happiness. You have to be on the ground getting your hands dirty to get where you need to go.

Manage Your Expectations

Now, you have mastered the courage and said hi to your crush. Please do not expect them to outrightly fall in love with you too. Ease into it. Get to know each other better. Spend some time together. Go out, have fun and learn more about each other. You saying hi is only the first step. Think of it as ignition, ‘the spark’ as it is referred to. It’s upon both of you to now get the ball rolling. I can assure you that if you are patient enough and if you understand that they will not just leave their boyfriends or girlfriends for you, then you have a chance.

Everyone is at a particular point in their lives. Do not expect that you will enter someone’s life and immediately they will leave everything and everyone behind to create a spot for you. Accept that you two could end up as just friends. That is the risk. It is the price or the cost of doing business. Say hi but remember that it could just end up as a bestie thing. There is nothing wrong with that and if you manage your expectations, then you are more likely to be overwhelmed and not disappointed. Best of luck.